Women

Basically over the past year I have tried to stay away from women, no I'm not gay. They always piss you off. I will not name any names in this segment because it isn't necessary. So this past semester I started to fall for this girl. She is very pretty and I really liked hanging out with her. Basically nothing happened till summer was starting. I found out ways to hang out with her more and more and with this I started to like her more and more. Eventually I worked up the courage to ask her on a date, which she agreed on. First off, I have ZERO self-confidence when it comes to girls that I like. If the girl is just a friend I have no problems and act perfectly normal around them. If I like the girl it is a totally different story. I get really nervous around then, stutter all over my speech, and best of all fidget. We go out and have a wonderful time. About a week later stuff isn't going so well and we demote ourselves to friend status. This isn't what makes me upset though. The fact that I really like this girl is what makes me upset. Getting to see her is the highlight of my week. When I find out that I'm going to get to see her I cheer up and can't wait for the day. I day dream about this girl all the time at work and at home.

I'm in between a rock and a hard place right now. It is upsetting that I try again and boom it fails. Still my failure rating isn't as bad some other people. That must have sucked trying to make the first light-bulb, thank God I can go to Home Depot and buy one. I guess I will have to take a word of advise from Monty Python, "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life." From Spamalot, which is a totally different topic in itself.

What I have been up to since my last post

Hello again long time no see. I have taken almost a year off from blogging and have decided to return. This last year has been quite uneventful. In this post I will announce some future blogs that I will be working on. Some topics include: World of Warcraft, Music School, Resident Assistant, and the ever so popular topic of women.

Nice guys finish last

Whoever said nice guys finish first should be shot. I consider myself to be a nice person and most of the times too nice. I do let people walk all over me, but o well.

There is this girl at work that I have a pretty big crush on and finally one day I work up the courage to ask this girl on a date. I would go out with my friends and talk about her all the time, which drove them crazy because they know that I have no "balls" when it comes to girls. Most of my friends happen to be girls, but when it comes to liking a girl I feel like I'm from another planet. I don't see how it so hard for me to express my feelings to a girl. Do I feel weak? or like I'm not a man? Seriously I don't know. If I have the "just friend" mentality it is easy for me to talk with that person, but if I have the "I like you" mentality I freeze.

Back to the reason that I'm writing this at 4am.

So, after a week of my friends "building me up" I finally work up the courage to ask this girl on a date. I had been questioning to myself all day what I was going to say to her. Should I be funny? or serious? I decide to go with the serious route. Mistake #1. I walk up to her and ask her if she would like to go out this weekend. Mistake #2. She looks at me and says, "Are you serious? I would rather us just be friends." BOOM!!! The absolute WORST thing to say! Tell me that you can because you will be in the hospital and then shot yourself with a staple gun in the stomach. (family guy reference) This is a swift kick to the nuts! I felt like I had been kick by an elephant. I said ok whatever.

Now, to evalutate my mistakes.

Mistake 1. I should have gone with something funny because if it backfired I could have played it off as a joke.

Mistake 2. Should have been more specific, For example, Would you like to go to (inceret place here) with me this weekend?

Adderal or life

This semester has been a giant experiment for me. I am blessed with ADHD, and I wanted to see if I could go without my medicine. I had the idea for this over the winter break. Last semester I did take my meds and it was a successful year in academics, but at the expense of every thing else.

When on meds, like Adderal, you can consentrate really well, but you go through very dramatic mood swings. There were times when I would be really happy and not five minutes later I would be really depressed. Also, when I was taking adderal I would literly go days without eating. It can and did supress my appertite. Another bad thing is that you have a hard time going to sleep. If you take your medicine too late in the day then you are screwed for sleeping that night. This are major drawlback of taking this.

Over this semester I have been my normal off medicine self. I'm always in a good mood, but at the expenise of my academic work. I have a really hard time staying focused to complete a task. (FYI so far this post has taken me 20 minutes) My grades this semester will not be as good as last semester.

(30 minutes)

What should I do? Should I take the hit to my physical well being or do good in school?

18 to bullet, 21 to shot

Why is that in America you can fight and die for your country at the age 18, but you can't legally drink until you are 21? Personally I don't drink, but this is an issue that really confuses me. I think that if a person is old enough to take a bullet he is old enough to drink.

Edit: So I did a little research on this topic over the weekend. A State is allowed to change the drinking age to whatever they please, but the government stepped in and said that if you don't have the drinking age at 21 then we will take away your highway funds. This is the reason that the age is not 18.

Also, over the weekend I talk with my friend that is fighting in the war in Iraq and asked him that if he wanted an alcoholic drink would he get in trouble? He said no. He said that his comanding officer doesn't care what he does in his free time, but as long as he is aware and ready at anytime to do his job he doesn't care.

So, if you are in the military, depending on your CO, you can drink while you are on active duty, but if you go home you are considered a normal person.

akward

Over the past few weeks I have been trying to branch out and hang out with new people. I found a couple people that I really enjoyed hanging out with, but for some strange reason it seems like they have fallen off the planet. Two weeks went by and I heard nothing from them. On my birthday they suddenly drop by and wish me a happy birthday. I was very happy that they did this, but the very next day they went straight back to avoidance mode. What should I do?

i feel like a doormat

We had sign ups for rooms next year today and wow did I get the shaft. I signed up for a single early in the day and was told that I would have a single for next year. I go to Ump Lee to eat a little dinner and when I return I have an e-mail from my hall director. I open it up thinking that it was just another stupid e-mail that she sends out, but this was address directly to me. It stated that she had screwed up and I was no longer in a single, but in a double and that I have less than 12 hours to find a roommate or I will be stuck with a freshman next year. First off I have been looking for a roommate for the past 2 months and couldn't find one, what makes you think I will be able to find one in the next 12 hours? Everyone that I wanted to room with for next year either 1) has a roommate or 2) is moving off campus next year. I had been asked earlier in the semester if I wanted to room with some people in an apartment, but turned them down because there is a possibility that I could be an RA next year and they suggest that you live in the dorms. So, in other words I will be an RA next year, or stuck with another crappy roommate. If you don't know about him then read a few of my other posts. It is not fun living with a cronic masturbator.


Why is it that nice people always get stepped on? Do I look like a doormat? Obviously to some people I do. I at-least hope that I look like a nice doormat, like the ones from pottery barn. I think that I need to walk around with giant speakers and play not your stepping stone by the monkeys all day long.

best birthday ever

Yesterday was my birthday and it was great. I had strep throat and felt like absolute crap. On top of that because of my wonderful procrastination skill I got to write an essay too. The cherry on top was the music theory exam at 8am. Nothing makes you feel worse on your birthday than all of this. The good parts about my birthday was I only went to two classes and got to sleep a whole lot. I spent almost the entire day in my room sleeping. When I wasn't sleeping I was either writting or editing my essay. My roommate did suprise me by waking me up and taking me to chipotle for dinner. (the only meal of the day) Even though every bite hurt like no other, it ws worth it. Normally I just complain about my roommate for eating my food and not showering, but now I'm going to switch sides. This was the first time that I have ever seen my roommate care for anyone else but himself. I was really shocked. Maybe he is turning around and starting to act like a 20 yr old. Or maybe it was just a quark in his daily routiene, the world my never know.